SmartHomeOwners

Let's face it, not all neighbours are kind and easy to get along with.  And some are downright mean!  Living closely with others in a neighbourhood has its benefits and downturns.  It can mean feeling safe, loved, protected and connected if you have good neighbours.  On the other hand, one bad neighbour can cause your entire world to feel threatened or at the very least, overcrowded.  Let's look at some ways to solve common neighbour problems and also to be a good neighbour yourself.

Socialization with Neighbours

One way to ensure good relationships with neighbours is to get out and socialize.  In our society, people are often in too big a hurry to speak to anyone, much less take time to learn their personality, likes and dislikes.  You might live near your neighbours for many years to come.  Get to know them.  Invite them over for dinner or a grill-out.  Make them feel welcomed to your home, and let them know you're there if they ever need a shoulder to lean on.  Speak to your neighbours when out and about riding your bike or jogging, or even while grabbing your daily newspaper or mail!

Avoid Kid Conflicts

Kids are often a source of strife between neighbours.  The parents may have a disagreement about child-rearing, or perhaps the children will repeat something another parent or child said about you...or vice versa.  It's important to set boundaries when neighbourhood kids play together.  At least one trustworthy adult should be present with younger children.  Older children should be given set rules and be expected to follow them (or else).  You can discuss these rules with the other parents and try to come to an agreement.  If there are problems with a particular neighbour, don't discuss it with your children unless there is a true danger of physical harm or kidnapping!

Be Alert

While many of your neighbours may be the nicest people on earth, there could be a bad apple in the bunch.  Imagine living near a thief/robber, murderer, child molester, drug dealer or spouse abuser.  In these situations, you might even consider moving to another neighbourhood.  Moving, however, is difficult and expensive.  You might need to install a security system and ask the police to keep an eye on your neighbourhood.  Start a crime watch group as well.  This allows neighbours to join forces and watch out for one another.  Ask others to watch your home closely when out of town.  Also, don't allow your children to play alone in plain view without adult supervision.

Dealing with a Mean, Nasty Neighbour

Perhaps your neighbour isn't a criminal, but is just simply mean and hurtful to others.  First, find out from others if you are the only target, or if this person is always mad at the world.  You might find that the person has had a tragedy in his/her life and has become bitter at everyone.  In this case, kindness is the best medicine.  Don't pester the neighbour, but do extend kindness during holidays or whenever you get a chance.  Kindness sometimes breaks through bitter feelings.

If you find that the person is targeting you for a particular reason, ask another neighbour or friend to mediate and find out what the problem is and how you can make amends.  Contact the neighbour that's angry and ask for a meeting at their home.  Bring along a gift and let them know that you truly want to mend the relationship.  It may be a small thing to you, but very annoying for them.  Let's say your dog barks near their bedroom window most of the night and keeps them awake.  This can possibly be solved by moving the dog's pen to the other side of your yard.  You might even plant shrubs or install a fence wall as a noise barrier.  Sometimes petty things can become a source of strife before you even realize it!

If you've made every effort to reconcile with a mean neighbour, and nothing seems to be working, it's best to count your losses.  Don't be hateful or start a shouting match.  Just pleasantly tell them you wish to be their friend if possible.  But if not, you'll leave them alone.  You might even consider planting a privacy hedge if you feel this will prevent further conflict.

Neighbours can be a blessing or a thorn in the side.  Either way, strive to be a good neighbour.  Don't gossip, and avoid conflict if possible. You never know when you'll need a helping hand from the one living beside you!